"I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead."  - Samuel Goldwyn

Breathe, breathe in the air

Don't be afraid to care

Leave but don't leave me

Look around and chose your own ground

For long you live and high you fly

And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry

And all you touch and all you see

Is all your life will ever be

Run, run rabbit run

Dig that hole, forget the sun,

And when at last the work is done

Don't sit down it's time to dig another one

For long you live and high you fly

But only if you ride the tide

And balanced on the biggest wave

You race toward an early grave.

You Want To Give Your Love Away

And End Up Giving Nothing

I'm Not Surprised, That Your Black Eyes

Are Gazing.

You Say That Love Is Everything

And What We Need The Most Of

I Wish You Knew, That's Just How True

My Love Was.

No Words For My Love

You're Burning Love, Sweet Burning Love

It's Deep Inside,

You Mustn't Hide, Your Burning Love

Sweet Burning Love, Your Burning Love.

You Want To Turn Your Head Away

And Someone's Thinking Of You

I Wish You'd See, It's Only Me,

I Love You.

"Ad hoc, ad loc and quid pro quo.

So little time — so much to know!" - Jeremy Hilary Boob Ph. D.

A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind.

Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash.

Behind her were 200 women walking single file.

The woman couldn't stand her curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said "I am so sorry for your loss and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this.

Whose funeral is it?"

The woman replied "Well, that first hearse is for my husband."

"What happened to him?"

The woman replied "My dog attacked and killed him."

She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two women.

"Could I borrow that dog?"

"Get in line."

This is a really great drop cookie recipe (from my mother or my aunt, whomever you think won that argument!) The cookies come out with a biscuit consistency yet they are very light.

Front with a confectioners sugar icing and any flavoring of choice (my kids love lemon!)

Preheat oven to 350°

Ingredients

1 cup Crisco

1 cup sugar

3 eggs

1 cup milk

1/4 cup baking powder

1 tbsp vanilla

4+ cups flour (more than 4 cups but barely. Too much flour and you plain old biscuits)

Directions

In a mixer, thoroughly combine Crisco, sugar, vanilla and eggs. In a separate bowl, sift baking powder with flour. Fold the flour mixture into the Crosco/sugar mixture alternating with milk until well blended. Drop onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake at 350° for approx 12 minutes or until lightly brown.

Cool on a wire rack. Remove then frost!

Not sure where this joke came from but it is one of my favorites. And yes, even though I am of Italian descent, I am NOT offended by this joke. It's only a joke. Get it?! 

"An old Italian lived alone in Chicago. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

'Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.

Love, Papa'

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

'Dear Pop,

Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.

Love, Vinnie'

At 4 AM the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

'Dear Pop,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love you, Vinnie' "