Sartre's Coffee

The French existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting in a cafe when a waitress approached him: "Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?"

Sartre replied, "Yes, I'd like a cup of coffee with sugar, but no cream".

Nodding agreement, the waitress walked off to fill the order and Sartre returned to working.

A few minutes later, however, the waitress returned and said, "I'm sorry, Monsieur Sartre, we are all out of cream -- how about with no milk?"

A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price."

The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all!"

I live alone.

It hasn't always been that way.

It's nice sometimes

     to open up the heart a little

and let some hurt come in.

It proves you're still alive.

I'm not sure what it means.

Why we can not shake the old loves from our minds.

It must be that we build on memories

And make them more than what they were.

      And is the manufacture

Just a safe device for closing up the wall?

I do remember.

The only fuzzy circumstance

Is sometimes where-and-how.

Why, I know.

It happens just because we need

To want and to be wanted too,

When love is here or gone

To lie down in the darkness

      And listen to the warm.

From Simply Recipes! 

Oatmeal Raisin Chocolate Chip Orange Pecan Cookies Recipe

INGREDIENTS

1 3/4 cups flour

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

16 Tbsp butter (2 sticks)

Grated zest of one orange

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1 cup packed dark brown sugar

1 tsp salt

2 tsp vanilla

1 large egg

1 egg yolk

2 1/2 cups oatmeal rolled oats (Quaker Quick or Old Fashioned, do not use instant)

2/3 cup chocolate chips

1/2 cup chopped pecans (can sub walnuts)

1/2 cup raisins

METHOD

1 Center rack in oven and preheat to 375°F. Line two large cookie sheets with parchment or Silpats. Whisk together the flour, baking soda, and cinnamon.

2 Combine granulated sugar with grated orange zest, set aside.

3 Heat ten tablespoons butter in small saucepan, place remaining 6 tablespoons butter in large mixing bowl. When butter is nicely browned (see: how to brown butter) and has a nutty aroma, pour over the remaining butter and mix until all butter is completely melted.

4 Add the granulated sugar and orange, brown sugar, vanilla and salt to the butter and whisk until combined. Add the egg and egg yolk. Whisk for thirty seconds and let stand for three minutes, repeat this process twice more until mixture is thick and shiny, this will enhance the flavor and texture of the cookies.

5 Working with the stand mixer, combine the wet and dry ingredients. Mix until fully incorporated. Add in the oatmeal, chocolate chips, raisins and nuts and mix well.

6 Spoon dough in 4 Tbsp balls onto baking sheet, about 2 inches apart. Bake for 10-11 minutes, until the edges just turn brown. Remove from oven and let cool for 5 minutes before transferring the cookies to a rack to cool completely.

16 cookies

"A desk is a dangerous place from which to view the world."  - John le Carre

Vezzini: "Haha.. you fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is: Never get involved in a land war in Asia. Only slightly less well know is this: Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! "

"It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!"

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl".

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Funachelli?"

"Yes, Father, it is."

"And who was the girl you were with?"

"I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"

"I cannot say ."

"Was it Teresa Volpe?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Nina Capelli?"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

" Was it Maria Piriano?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, Tommy Funachelli, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."

Tommy walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"

"4 months vacation and five good leads......."